Well, OF COURSE the NFL’s Top 100 list is rigged. Can’t have nothing to bitch about.


By now everyone is aware that numbers 11-20 of the Top 100 Players of 2014 as voted by the players themselves has been unveiled.

And Donte Whitner thinks it’s all a lie. A sham, bogus, phony…the players don’t vote! And I think maybe he’s right, and not because he didn’t make the list, either.

The writers at NFL.com have a light workload this month: there’s really not much going on in football. That is, unless you’re the guy documenting all of the seasonal PED and substance abuse suspensions being handed out (yes kids, it’s that time of year when the league actually tries to help you with your fantasy football draft, so that you don’t pick some loser who’s about to miss four to sixteen games).

And because there’s nothing to write about, readership drops. Because readership drops, advertisers drop. Because advertisers drop, money stops flowing in. Because money stops flowing in, somebody starts kicking puppies. Wait…what?

So the best way to give a writer something to write about is MAKE SOMETHING UP. Seriously, that’s how journalism works. Just look at me, I’m writing about this, too. See how simple this concept is?

According to the scribes at NFL.com, it is a complete outrage that Aaron Rodgers is rated at #11. Holy sheeeeit, he’s not in the Top 10! Ohh em fucking jee, these players are idiots!

And it really “irks” this scribe about the other players Rodgers is ranked among, and both of the players he mentioned are Seahawks (yeah, that’s smart…use current champions to make your point for why your favorite player’s ranking is insulting).

If Aaron Rodgers had made the Top 10, we wouldn’t have had such “explosive” opinion pieces from NFL.com to read. So yeah, it makes perfect sense that the list is just thrown together, and the players don’t actually vote.

Next week: Richard Sherman is unveiled as the only defensive player in the Top 10. Somebody at NFL.com scores three points with a puppy.

And YOU are entertained.


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