NFL: “It’s pay to play now, motherfuckers”

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Disclosure: I spent a quarter of a century trying to become a rock singer signed to the standard “rich-n-famous” contract. So it’s perfectly OK for me to puke about this.

The NFL had a glorious opportunity last February when the Super Bowl was played in New Jersey. They could have hired a true Jersey Boy to play the halftime show: Bruce Springsteen. It would have been epic. The NFL decided to go fuck themselves instead.

Hell, they could have hired a different Jersey Boy and (possible) future NFL team owner Jon Bon Jovi. If they wanted wet panties, they could have paid just enough money to get Jersey’s My Chemical Romance to re-group for one show.

No, they didn’t do any of that. Don’t get me wrong, Bruno Mars puts on an awesome show and is an amazing song writer. Red Hot Chili Penises have always kinda sucked IMO, but their performance didn’t suck this halftime show…because they didn’t actually play.

Getting Michael Jackson to perform back in ’93 was the genius idea that got non-football fans to tune into the Super Bowl and send it into ratings heaven. But they stumbled around for a few years afterward, thinking even MORE star acts for a bathroom-break show would be even BETTER. They came to their senses in 2002 performing just U2, then slammed multiple artists at us again for a couple of years, then a straight string of single performers again: from 2005 to 2010, we got Sir McCartney, Stones, Prince, Petty, Springsteen and The Who. But they’ve been brain-farting halftime ever since.

If it costs the NFL a lot of money to bring in a single act with cast, equipment, crew, friends, etc, then it probably costs a LOT more money to bring in multiple acts.

The NFL’s solution: the artists now have to pay to play halftime.

While a select few do, most artists don’t make money outside of concert tours. They can’t afford a weekend with their family at Six Flags, much less the NFL. As a result, we’ll likely be stuck with some boring lip-syncing shit like Jay-Z and Beyoncé (I only use them as an example…we all know they’re getting divorced once their current tour is over).

Perhaps someone could set up a kickstarter campaign to bring back Grambling State Marching Band and Arcadia High School Drill Team and Flag Girls. I love flag girls. Hire some dogs and ponies, and you’ve got a show!

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Looks like Kaepernick is creating drama where it doesn’t exist…but for what reason?

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Some players and coaches have a certain amount of distain for media people…even a certain amount of disgust (yes, we’re looking at you, Belichick). On more than a few occasions, players have complained that their statements made during an interview were taken out of context, and then they launch a PR effort to try to make themselves look better than what was described in print.

But subjects of an interview will sometimes turn the tables, by setting up how the interview will go and what questions will be asked. In other words, they’re manipulating the media to glorify themselves, eliminate potential damage, and maybe even push their own agenda.

Case in point: Chris Simms, a former NFL quarterback himself, interviewed Colin Kaepernick the other day. And it appeared that the script and questions posed were written by someone other than Chris Simms. That, or there is a very good reason Chris Simms wasn’t very successful in the NFL.

The obviousness of Kaep’s manipulation begins with the lead-in sentence of the video: Simms states that Kaepernick is one of the five best quarterbacks in the NFL.

Wait…WHAT? When the hell did THIS happen? Let’s break this down a bit: the basic fact that almost everyone agrees with is that the top four is currently Manning, Brady, Brees and Rodgers, and nobody can agree which of these four are #1. Kaepernick is #5…really, Chris? You sure about this?

A lot of people thought that it was a stretch…while some thought it was crazy…for Russell Wilson to land in the #5 slot in the recent NFL Top 100. Compared to Kaep, Wilson threw for more yards last season with a higher completion percentage, 20% more TD passes, and a vastly superior passer rating (especially for the postseason, where Kaepernick plunged his rating all the way down to 74). One could argue that there are several other QBs to take that coveted 5th spot. But not Kaep.

In fact, in that Top 100 list Kaep doesn’t even finish in the Top 10 for QBs: he ranks 13th. Jaws ranks him 13th. ProFootBallFocus ranks him 17th, but they like to rank based on real statistics, so it doesn’t count in armchair quarterback rankings. In ESPN’s fantasy rankings, Kaep comes in 9th, the only place I found him breaking into any Top 10 list…but even in the wildest of fantasies, Kaep isn’t in the Top 5 (except his own fantasy, apparently).

So Kaep had gotten Simms to make this absurd unsubstantiated statement, and it’s a setup for what comes at the 1 minute mark: Simms states Kaep has had a lot of unfair criticism, at which point Kaep immediately smiles in such a way as to say, “Oh yeah, you got THAT right!”

In short: Kaep is being unfairly criticized even though he is a Top 5 quarterback.

But what criticism? Neither Kaep nor Chris ever say what it is. ProFootballTalk even stepped through the issue, trying to figure out what this unfair criticism could be, and there isn’t any. If anything, Kaep has ESCAPED widespread criticism for his performance, which he duly deserves.

And why does Kaep think he’s being unfairly criticized? He says it’s due to prejudice, borne from his tats, his attire, and his speech.

Seriously, when you lead an answer with words like “prejudice” and “stereotypes”, the initial thought most people have is that you’re about to play the race card, right? Tattoos: he’s covered in them. Attire: he once wore a Dolphins cap. Speech: has always come across like a nice young man to me. Is any of this unfair? Besides the Dolphins cap episode, is any of this even making headlines? Has anyone even been talking about any of this over the last 12 months?

To wrap up his answer, he makes it clear that he doesn’t want to be judged on his appearance.

But no one is judging him on his appearance.

Kaep is making shit up. That, or he dared not give his true answer, for which he would be publicly shamed and vilified.

The interview was obviously scripted and skewed to make him appear as one of the best while simultaneously making him appear as a victim. He doesn’t meet either criteria.

However, he’s obviously trying to convince people otherwise. What his agenda is, we just can’t be sure, but he’s setting something in motion.

The 1 percentile is trying to influence the ommitance of an NFL team name at a specific game

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In an apparent effort to further bring to light that a certain football team in a certain city that is nearby the leased residence of a certain US President is using what they consider a certain slur as their team name, the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community has certainly thrown some weight behind a certain request by a certain college that the team name not be used in any way when visiting a certain other team.

The Vikings need to play “home games” at that college while their new stadium is under construction, and the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community put up some of the cash needed to build that college football stadium. So they have vocally stood up to support the college when the college asked that the team name “Redskins” not be used in any way whatsoever when they travel to Minnesota to play the Vikings.

Not to be used on the scoreboards, not on any merchandise being sold, not mentioned over the PA system or any programs or other game-day materials. They don’t even want the team to wear their current uniforms, requesting a throwback from two generations ago.

The thing that got my spidey sense tingling was that the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community is the richest in North America. Every member of the tribe receives a million dollars.

Every year.

Yes, they are generous with other Indian Nations. Yes, they are generous with the white-folk communities. Yes, they SHOULD have a voice for a stadium they helped finance.

But it has always rubbed me the wrong way when rich people try to dictate how things are going to be done.

And did the college begin this effort on their own, or were they influenced? Ok, were they pressured?

Yes, Dan Snyder is also rich…the irony has not gone unnoticed.