Well, it looks like being granted immunity doesn’t mean someone won’t commit perjury anyway

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It must be true: love is blind. And stupid.

The grand jury investigating the murder of Odin Lloyd questioned Aaron Hernandez’s fiance, Shayanna Jenkins, and came away from that meeting believing that she lied to them 29 times.

They assumed she would be the key witness for getting a conviction, the butter on top of their popcorn. But she would also possibly be put on trial herself for aiding and abetting, and obstruction of justice. So how do they compel someone to take the stand and hopefully tell the truth? Grant her immunity, so that she cannot invoke the Fifth. Smooth move, Mr. Prosecutor.

So while on the stand she testifies,

“When Aaron got back from the police station, when I had found out that Odin was murdered, I asked him if he did it and he said no. That was the extent of our conversation,”

What, you immediately changed the subject to talk about the slug that your one-year-old ate that day? Bitched about how you still don’t have your own car after Aaron signed for 40 million? Figured that “no” was a hint that you should just give him a blow job?

Here’s how we know that Shayanna lied: she is a woman, and women NEVER ask a man just one question and leave it at that.

She was also confronted with a text message she received from Hernandez which read, “Go in back of the screen in movie room when u get home an there is the box.” She told the court that it was not some sort of instruction from Aaron, but simply a coincidence that she quickly borrowed her sister’s car, put the box referenced in the text message into the car and drove it to some easily forgettable place to throw it into a dumpster.

And this right here is EXACTLY why I never text my wife. Every time I do, she throws something of mine into the trash! You’d think Aaron would have learned this by now, but nooooo…

Oh, and can you imagine the conversation she had with her sister that day? “Oh hi, sis. I heard about your boyfriend getting shot six times yesterday. That’s so sad. Speaking of boyfriends, that 40 million dollar cheap-ass bastard I’m living with won’t buy me my own car, so can I borrow yours? You’re not going anywhere today, right?

stupidity

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