It’s been a long while since we could blame Jessica Simpson for something, but hopefully I’ll figure out a way to do it by the time I finish writing this article.
First loser up: the Dallas Cowboys. With their new franchise QB Dak Prescott leading them to the playoffs last season, they had an albatross of a contract with Tony Romo to deal with. First they said they would keep him, then said they would listen to trade offers, then that they would release him, then NOT release him, then let him talk to teams…what an EPIC FAIL. Have the Cowboys completely forgotten that we are currently in the Lying Season? Everybody else knew that the Cowboys were lying, and all they had to do was wait for the inevitable, for the Cowboys to release Romo, and they give up nothing in compensation to pursue him at a lower rate. All the flip-flopping made the ‘boys look desperate. They should have just kept their mouths shut and let some other desperate team make the first move, but we’re talking about Jerry Jones…a man who cannot keep his mouth shut any time he sees a microphone.
The Broncos were reportedly interested in Romo should he be released. They were likely hoping to have another Peyton Manning situation, and get to another Super Bowl or two with an experienced field general who didn’t have to do too much to win. I was personally hoping this would happen so that we could watch Jerry’s head explode: out-dueled by Horse Face? Would have been priceless. But they lost out.
Remember last year when the Texans thought Brock Osweiler would be their franchise QB of the future? Now that Brock is on the Browns’ roster, they’re both losers, but the Texans had a glimmer of hope that they might have a chance at Romo. And now they get smacked in the face of reality to find out that they were Romo’s first choice. Sad Trombone is playing in the Texans front office right now. All they need to do is to go after Colin Kaepernick, and they will complete the elusive Quarterback Loser Trifecta (QLT is copyrighted by the Cleveland Browns, reprinted here after receiving written permission for it’s use, All Rights Reserved).
Time will tell if CBS is a loser, but I’m gonna call it now. Placing a complete n00b in the highest position, to call nationally televised games? I mean, did Romo even have a demo tape that they could review before hiring him? Charming and devastatingly handsome only gets you so far in the media world…just ask Mike Florio.
It’s hard to call Romo a loser, because hey, he just got hired for the best position at CBS, right? Wrong. This is the Age of Social Media, and the media has no control over it. Keyboard warriors will tweet and blog plenty to criticize Romo’s performance, regardless if that criticism is warranted. And the memes…think of all the memes!
The only person who had no control over becoming a loser in this saga is Phil Simms. Imagine yourself holding down the top job at your company for two decades, only to be suddenly replaced by a new guy who only has a GED diploma. Two Super Bowl rings and an MVP award can’t beat out a guy with only two playoff wins? That’s gotta sting. But Simms has a couple of more years left on his contract, so CBS might pay him to watch games from his couch.
Which brings us back to Jessica. She’s skinny again, looking hot, and threatening humanity with another reality TV show. She’s a winner again! A winner who previously got dumped by Romo on her birthday.