Hernandez suicide doesn’t pass my sniff test

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As you have no doubt heard by now, Aaron Hernandez committed suicide last night in his prison cell, hanging himself with a bed sheet.

Naturally, as I am often wont to do, I put myself in Aaron’s shoes. First, he has relatively small feet. Second, how would I celebrate winning a double-murder trial five days earlier, and then having a slim chance of getting my previous conviction overturned on appeal and walking out of prison in shoes that are a little too small for me?

Out of all of my potential celebratory options available to me, suicide wouldn’t be very high on my list.

People who commit suicide usually do so out of guilt or remorse, depression, loneliness, rejection, and general helplessness, among other feelings.

What we know: Hernandez was found not guilty of double-murder. He still has his fiancée, who testified in his favor in court, even though she was granted immunity. He has the friendship of the street gang he joined in prison. He is surrounded by love, with a slight possibility of having his previous murder conviction overturned and leaving prison.

And then there is also the small fact that Hernandez is a textbook sociopath. Sociopaths don’t have those kind of feelings like guilt or depression. Sociopaths love themselves too much to commit suicide. And he left no suicide note…

This whole thing redlines my Bovine Excrement Meter. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was a case of merrrrderrrr. Mwuah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa!

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